11/7/18
Over the past couple years, I have witnessed many people on social media make statements such as “If you don’t agree with me, unfriend me,” or “I am not interested in hearing another perspective, you won’t change my mind,” or “Not interested in debating that.” These are friends on both sides. What last night tells me is that it’s time to re-friend those that disagree with you and listen. If you don’t, you simply won’t understand why racism and bigotry still won out last night.
I will never agree with a Trump supporter. No friend, no matter how educated, informed and persuasive will convince me to vote for any politician aligned with Trump.
However, I have dated a Spanish-speaking, Black, Caribbean immigrant for some time now. I have many immigrant friends who grew up in nations with ruthless dictators. I have friends for whom English is their second language. I work with a population of clients who are immigrants; some documented, some not, some in process. And surprisingly, many of them do not hate Trump as I do. For a long time, I shut them down and refused to listen to them.
But a few months ago, I started listening. And I think it is very important to hear what they are saying.
Obama was an eloquent and sophisticated speaker. I am a well-educated woman and sometimes I had difficulty understanding his highfalutin language! Imagine if English is your second language. Trump, who speaks at about a 4th grade level, is much easier for non-English speakers to understand. The content notwithstanding, many immigrants understand the words Trump is using, and therefore feel that he is speaking to them. One friend recently admitted to this when I asked him about it, and he was as curious about it as I. While there is a lot of enthusiasm this morning for Beto for President, it’s important to read some of the reports from those Hispanic immigrants who didn’t vote for him. He wasn’t speaking TO them, and that won’t change.
Immigration is another issue that liberals do not entirely understand. We see the “caravan” on its way from Honduras and are horrified that troops are being sent to stop them. Many Latin and Caribbean immigrants, from countries it should be noted that the US assisted in destabilizing, have a much different view of this issue. Many of them went through an arduous legal process to immigrate to the US. Many grew up experiencing danger similar to those now fleeing El Salvador and Honduras every single day of their lives. In their view, they came “the right way,” and resent those who are walking across the border and asking to stay. As I listen to these stories, I understand more fully how complicated this issue is for immigrants.
I cringe every time I recall Trump referring to certain countries as “shitholes.” When I was in the Dominican Republic this summer I didn’t stay at a resort. I stayed in an apartment in the middle of the Santo Domingo and lived like a local for a few short days. It’s a rough place. Several people asked me, “See why Trump says this place is a shithole?” They are living with poverty that has no equivalent in the US, corrupt government, violence, trauma, and almost no way out. I didn’t regard it as a “shithole,” however I understand how they do. It would be disrespectful for me to not be able to acknowledge and validate that experience.
Interestingly, many people who grew up in countries such as Haiti and the Dominican where the dictators were brutal and ruthless regard Trump as a bit of a joke. Sure, he is vile, hateful and pushing a Nationalist agenda. But he’s also a buffoon, lacking the sophistication of dictators throughout history. They don’t see him as being as dangerous as many of us do.
Lastly, I believe that white liberals hear Trump et al’s hateful, bigoted, vile regard for minorities, and imagine that the targets are marching to the polls to vote them all out. That just is not the case. As I just stated, many immigrants and minorities agree that their people are indeed lazy, criminal, uneducated, entitled. I think it is a danger for white, liberal Americans to not understand that many minorities and People of Color carry around with them a tremendous amount of internalized racism and shame. Trump speaks to that for them.
The Democrats enjoyed a great victory in winning back the house, no doubt. The country elected its first openly gay governor in Colorado. New Hampshire is sending it’s first openly gay male to the Senate. One hundred seventeen women will serve in the next Congress, quite of few of them being women of color. All of this is thrilling.
But racism and bigotry still dominated. We must befriend those with opposing views and listen patiently and perhaps painfully. This works both ways. Through mutual listening, I have recently had some of these friends admit to me that Trump’s hate speech now makes them cringe. This is the only way that we will choose the right politicians who can bring equality and decency to our nation.
Monica's Musings 